Happy Mother's Day! (and a note on sleep deprevation)
Happy Mother's Day (late) to all the mommies! I hope everyone felt appreciated. I awoke to Drew giving me 2 cards. One from Joe, and one from the boys. Nate was still sleeping next to me, and was not as happy as I was about Drew's 'rise and shine' attitude. Drew then said, "happy birthday" and ran back downstairs. I decided to get up then, cause I could smell coffee and figured Joe would be making breakfast. I came down to blueberry pancakes and ham. (Joe makes the best blueberry pancakes from scratch) Drew's the only one who won't eat them, and I swear because they have some trace of an actual fruit in them. Nathan will chose melon over cake any day, but not the bug. Nate had made me a bookmark (?) at school that was decorated in flowers and gave it to me after breakfast. One of the teachers had written, 'to Mommy, love Nathan' on the back which he traced very well. I am more impressed everyday with his academic progress. His school is fantastic! At the beginning of the year he had trouble controlling his pencil at all, and now you can actually read what he is writing. A little later that day, Nate and Joe made me some mother's day cookies shaped into ducks, bats, and gingerbread men. They were the only cookie cutters we could find even though we have about 200. They decorated them with sprinkles and pink frosting. If Nathan sees anything pink he says "you should get this mommy", cause he knows it's my favorite color. We had Chinese for dinner, which I had to bring back to the restaurant in my pajamas cause they got the order wrong, but it was delicious after I got the right thing! I usually have to fight for Chinese cause I could eat it for every meal, while the rest of my family doesn't exactly share my feelings. It was a nice relaxing day.
Today, I had an emotional breakdown at 6:30 am. I'm going to chock it up to the hormones, but it was definitely a long time coming. Every morning Riley is up at 4:30 wanting to go outside. If it's a regular work day, Joe usually lets him out before he leaves, but I still wake up to his early morning barking. I expect that. It's not like we've ever owned a puppy before, and I'm actually happy he stays in his kennel for that long without complaining. Now this little early morning hiccup wouldn't be so bad if we didn't live in GD Washington, where the sun rises at 5am. I swear to god we live in a bird sanctuary with the chorus of tweeting that echos. Once you're woken in the morning, it's hard to fall back asleep. Drew, for whatever reason, has been waking up earlier and earlier every day for the past 3 weeks. He used to sleep in so much I would worry about him, but now he is full of vinegar at the crack of dawn. When Nathan wakes up early, he'll crawl in bed with me and either fall back asleep, or I can turn on the TV and he'll lay there quietly until it's a decent hour. Not Drew. When he's up, he's up, and there is no quieting that child. He'll pull the covers off, honk your nose, play with the cat, the blankets, pull on your hand, etc. He's relentless. Though he's relentless with everything. This morning he came in at 5:15. Joe is home cause he's on a new schedule, thank god. Around 6, Joe got up with him, but the damage had been done. There was no way I was going back to sleep now. I laid there trying my best to relax, but decided at 6:30 it wasn't worth it. I came downstairs, obviously flustered. Joe said, "what's wrong?" and I lost it. Crying, and complaining like one of my toddlers. I hate having moments like that. I think every mom has, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I think lately I have had a difficult time adjusting to stay-at-home mom, and that's also taking a toll on me. I try to cram so much in one day but after no sleep and destroyed hips, I never get it all done. I go to bed every night feeling unaccomplished and worn down. I used to be able to fit so much in one day and have so much energy but it's just gone. I have the motivation, but I physically can't push myself into doing what I feel needs to be done. Worst of all, I know it's only going to get harder when the baby arrives, so what am I supposed to do then? I've never expected things to be easy, but I wish they weren't this hard. This morning I am drained and it's only 10am.
Today, I had an emotional breakdown at 6:30 am. I'm going to chock it up to the hormones, but it was definitely a long time coming. Every morning Riley is up at 4:30 wanting to go outside. If it's a regular work day, Joe usually lets him out before he leaves, but I still wake up to his early morning barking. I expect that. It's not like we've ever owned a puppy before, and I'm actually happy he stays in his kennel for that long without complaining. Now this little early morning hiccup wouldn't be so bad if we didn't live in GD Washington, where the sun rises at 5am. I swear to god we live in a bird sanctuary with the chorus of tweeting that echos. Once you're woken in the morning, it's hard to fall back asleep. Drew, for whatever reason, has been waking up earlier and earlier every day for the past 3 weeks. He used to sleep in so much I would worry about him, but now he is full of vinegar at the crack of dawn. When Nathan wakes up early, he'll crawl in bed with me and either fall back asleep, or I can turn on the TV and he'll lay there quietly until it's a decent hour. Not Drew. When he's up, he's up, and there is no quieting that child. He'll pull the covers off, honk your nose, play with the cat, the blankets, pull on your hand, etc. He's relentless. Though he's relentless with everything. This morning he came in at 5:15. Joe is home cause he's on a new schedule, thank god. Around 6, Joe got up with him, but the damage had been done. There was no way I was going back to sleep now. I laid there trying my best to relax, but decided at 6:30 it wasn't worth it. I came downstairs, obviously flustered. Joe said, "what's wrong?" and I lost it. Crying, and complaining like one of my toddlers. I hate having moments like that. I think every mom has, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I think lately I have had a difficult time adjusting to stay-at-home mom, and that's also taking a toll on me. I try to cram so much in one day but after no sleep and destroyed hips, I never get it all done. I go to bed every night feeling unaccomplished and worn down. I used to be able to fit so much in one day and have so much energy but it's just gone. I have the motivation, but I physically can't push myself into doing what I feel needs to be done. Worst of all, I know it's only going to get harder when the baby arrives, so what am I supposed to do then? I've never expected things to be easy, but I wish they weren't this hard. This morning I am drained and it's only 10am.
posted by Amanda Nunnally at
9:20 AM
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