Lonely...

I don't remember patrols being this... long. To keep busy, I've been chasing the Fantastic 4, had the house painted, changed out doorknobs, etc. am having new carpet installed downstairs... Joe's probably going to think he's come in the wrong house when he gets back! This was much needed though. We had so many plans when we moved in that just never happened because of popping out kids and such. It's an odd thing to be still enough for a moment to really examine your surroundings are realize they are not what you had seen them to be. So I'm trying to get them there. The boys keep me busy enough all on their own, but they're not much for adult conversation. My Grandma has been here since April, and I don't know where I'd be right now without her. Aside from the obvious help she's given me, just having someone else here to talk to has been a savior. Even with these positives I find myself feeling lonely from time to time and even feel a little guilty over it. I once read in psychology that people can feel the most lonely when they're surrounded by others that they can't relate to. Not that I can't relate to my children and Grandma, but there is something to be said about the relationship of a spouse. Never feeling the need to censer myself, or impress. Letting anything fall out of my mouth and not thinking a thing about it. The unspoken language we have when one of us knows when the other needs a break, or a cup of coffee. Joe brings an energy of joy and excitement when he's here, and we've all been a little lost without it. I can try to play with the boys but it doesn't come as natural to me. If Joe were here, Matt would be potty trained. He's ready, but he just won't do it for me. Joe could potty train any kid, because he is so positive with them. I know that's not really what he wants under his list of "talents" but it's true. I haven't taken pictures in a while, and maybe that would help the time. Here's to being a stereotypical navy wife (no offense, of course) who can't live without her husband. I always prided myself in Independence, and here I am; completely dependant on my better half.