Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Eye of the Storm

Last night I watched a Dr.Phil episode that inspired me. Really, there was one phrase that did it. He was talking to a mom having trouble with her kids and was losing it herself. (sound familiar, anyone?) He told her, "Be the calm in the storm." I milled this over in my head for a while. Our house is chaotic, at best. There is always someone screaming over a stolen toy, cookie, etc. There is usually a parent yelling to follow. This morning I woke up at 6, and read a verse from the Tao Te Ching. It spoke mostly about letting the creative flow of the Tao flow through you. While every day I try to put to practice something I've read or re-read, today I decided to add to it; I would be the eye of the storm. Instead of fighting with Nathan to get dressed I told him, "You can either get dressed, or wear your pajamas to school." He replied with, "I'm not going to school." I repeated my line and left him alone. He did not get dressed for a while. I finally told him he had 10 minutes till we had to leave. He came downstairs 3 minutes later dressed, teeth brushed, and with socks in his hand. (He still needs help putting them on.) When I told Drew to put his boots on he told me, "I don't want to!" And I said, "OK, but if you don't, your feet are going to be very wet because it's raining." He immediately jumped up to find his boots. The day went on like this, and now both of them are in bed taking their nap. It works. For so long I have tried using force, and punishment to make them do things. I took away the confrontation, and now I see they are perfectly capable of making their own choices and most of the time, it's the best one. Maybe they're just in a great mood today, or it's the rainy weather, but I really hope I have found something that works. My Grandfather is this kind of calm force. From his own kids, to grand kids and now great-grand kids, he has never had to raise his voice... once. He's always had a way about him that I envied. Like he has a rosy Ora that just came naturally, and all people respond to it. His wisdom and insight astounds me, but not so much as the calm. I think I have found that in me, and I realize it's not that easy to obtain, but possible. The basis for living the Tao is finding true inner peace, so you can always be the calm in the storm. No matter what is going on around you, you are centered enough so it doesn't effect your spirit. Today, put to practice, it's an amazing feeling.

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