Per Nathan's Request...
A few weeks ago, Nate and I went for a walk after dinner. It was nice being able to spend a half hour with him, and only him. He is the kid I get the least one-on-one time with. Towards the end of the walk, he said, "Mom, I wish you were a little girl so I could play with you." Yeah, tear. I said, "Nate, you can play with me whenever you want to. I will always be here if you need me." (extra tear because I try as hard as I can to play with (etc.) the kids every day. ) He pauses. "Would you just grow another baby? And make it a girl. I really want a sister." I laughed out loud and felt bad for that, because I knew he was being serious. I told him it was a little more complicated than that, but if I do grow another baby, I'll try to make it a girl.
Two weeks (and two pregnancy tests) later, we are expecting our 4th baby in February. At first I didn't quite believe it. Physically, I don't feel pregnant. But when I woke up Monday morning, I had a calm knowing in my gut. It's hard to explain. I felt it with previous pregnancy's, so by now I know to listen to it. Joe seems pretty happy; he called his co-workers within the hour of discovering the news. Drew could have cared less, but I wouldn't have expected more. Matt has no idea what he's in for, and his days as "baby" are numbered. Nathan, is over the moon. He's already kissing my belly. I have never seen a little boy get so excited over a new baby. He was the same way with Matt, and loves him to death. He is a fantastic big brother. (Not as much to Drew, but still pretty good) I worried a little about telling him too early because I have miscarried in the past, but I suppose I'll just hope for the best so we don't have to break his heart.
As for me... I smile at the thought of a new little person. I am sad over having to move Matt up so quickly, just as I was when I discovered I was pregnant with Drew. And Matt. The boys will have to rearrange their rooms. We haven't even painted them yet as they are. I started on Drew's, and got ONE coat of primer up 3 weeks ago. I feel like we've let them down by not placing the importance on it that we should have. Nate and Drew will never have their own rooms again. At least not for a while. Matt will be caught somewhere in the middle, not quite old enough to hang with the 'big boys', but just a little too old to hang with 'new one'. I know I fear change and it takes me a while to come around to new ideas. Especially those involving new members of the family. Having #4, (4, holy crap, 4) to me was sort of a surreal idea, like going to Paris. I've thought, planned, and dreamed, but now that I'm on the plane, I'm white knuckled griping the armrest. I believe in my life's path. I follow it with 100% trust. I just really hope this one's a girl.
Two weeks (and two pregnancy tests) later, we are expecting our 4th baby in February. At first I didn't quite believe it. Physically, I don't feel pregnant. But when I woke up Monday morning, I had a calm knowing in my gut. It's hard to explain. I felt it with previous pregnancy's, so by now I know to listen to it. Joe seems pretty happy; he called his co-workers within the hour of discovering the news. Drew could have cared less, but I wouldn't have expected more. Matt has no idea what he's in for, and his days as "baby" are numbered. Nathan, is over the moon. He's already kissing my belly. I have never seen a little boy get so excited over a new baby. He was the same way with Matt, and loves him to death. He is a fantastic big brother. (Not as much to Drew, but still pretty good) I worried a little about telling him too early because I have miscarried in the past, but I suppose I'll just hope for the best so we don't have to break his heart.
As for me... I smile at the thought of a new little person. I am sad over having to move Matt up so quickly, just as I was when I discovered I was pregnant with Drew. And Matt. The boys will have to rearrange their rooms. We haven't even painted them yet as they are. I started on Drew's, and got ONE coat of primer up 3 weeks ago. I feel like we've let them down by not placing the importance on it that we should have. Nate and Drew will never have their own rooms again. At least not for a while. Matt will be caught somewhere in the middle, not quite old enough to hang with the 'big boys', but just a little too old to hang with 'new one'. I know I fear change and it takes me a while to come around to new ideas. Especially those involving new members of the family. Having #4, (4, holy crap, 4) to me was sort of a surreal idea, like going to Paris. I've thought, planned, and dreamed, but now that I'm on the plane, I'm white knuckled griping the armrest. I believe in my life's path. I follow it with 100% trust. I just really hope this one's a girl.
posted by Amanda Nunnally at
3:17 PM
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