I did it! Now about Drew and Fatigue...

I did it. It was hard, but I cut off the ties I said I was going to. So I didn't chicken out, feel bad... well a little. I still feel bad about the situation, but realize it's not my fault and there's nothing I can do to change it or make it better.

Now I am just waiting for this baby to make his big debut! My mom is flying in this Saturday, and it's another reminder of how close we actually are to becoming a family of 5. God, that's crazy!!! The earliest due date I was given was 7/17, and that's Thursday. From there we've had a few dates up to 7/24. So he really could come at any minute. I'm so anxious! We all are. Nathan asks me every day: "is he coming out now?" I can't wait until I can answer that with a yes. Drew's been having a hard time with other kids being around since he was taught by another certain couple of kids that it's OK to hit, push, take things, etc. just because you don't 'like' someone, and now Joe and I are worried he might not do well with a kid that's here permanently. Especially once he realizes the baby's here forever. It's actually made me and Joe really sad because before these certain other kids were around, Drew was just our sweet little Drew who loved babies, and was forever giving and requesting hugs and kisses. It is going to take so long to undo the damage they've done in just a few weeks. I feel bad for the other kids, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let them keep coming around after the horrible influence they've had on my family. Unfortunately I know it's not their fault; in kids so young you can only blame the parents. I really wanted to help them and be a good influence, but sometimes there is just nothing you can do. Wow, talk about a change of subject! LOL

So anyway... I'm completely exhausted today for no reason. If I could go to bed I would. I'm not sure why I'm so tired. I've been super-motivated lately and I've been getting a lot accomplished around the house. With this baby coming (whenever that will be) and my mom visiting, I know I don't have a whole lot of time left to do things I need to get done. I just get so angry when I'm this tired because I feel like I should be doing so much more than I am, but I just physically can't. Grrr. Maybe I'll just try to take it a little easier today and allow myself that, and then I'll wake up refreshed tomorrow. Only problem with that is: what if I don't? I'll have a house full of kids, and still no energy. at least Joe will be home most of the day tomorrow. He's a huge help, and I really don't think I could sanely make it through most days without him.