Trust

During my never-ending search for enlightenment, I've come across a common theme. It's one we could all accept to make our lives a little easier so I've decided to write about it in hopes of reaching a few of you. As you may know, I follow Taoism and have for the past few years. Every once in a while I have a moment that confirms something I've learned and amazes me, still. In the 55th verse of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-Tzu states, "He who is in harmony with the Tao is like a newborn child. Deadly insects will not sting him." Translated in my interpretation: if you believe you are connected to everything, and do not have fear or hatred in you, then there is not a creature that would wish to harm you. Newborns are so close to nature; in awe of everything, and are accepting of everyone regardless of their race, creed, nationality or gender. They have no intent on harming. At the park Saturday, a yellow jacket or wasp, I'm not sure which, landed on Alex's face. I internally panicked and before I had time to act, Alex swatted it. I thought about all of the yellow jacket attacks I had heard about this summer that were sending adults without allergies to the hospital because the venom was getting more potent. I searched his face where the insect had landed and there was not one mark. You may think I'm crazy or roll your eyes, but I believe the insect sensed his innocence. If it had been me, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have had a baseball sized welt on my face.
So now to the issue of trust. You all have experienced a moment when life just didn't seem fair. That things didn't go your way, and you wanted it so badly, it physically hurt. You felt sorry for yourself, cried, punched a wall, or even spent some time curled up and hugging your knees. The death of a loved one or the death of a dream are both things worthy of such emotions. When you say you just don't understand 'why', you are right. Believe that it is not for you to understand. When we are children and want a cookie before dinner and our parents tell us no, we don't understand the reasoning behind it. While some throw a tantrum and scream and kick, other kids trust that there is a reason their parents said no. They might ask 'why', but will accept the ever-prevailing, "because I said so". Sometimes that's the only answer we need as adults. We can't always understand the reasoning behind what goes on in life, but we can understand that there is reasoning that's bigger than we can comprehend at this stage of our existence. I have found much peace in this way of thinking. Not knowing the reasons, but trusting that there are reasons. There is a perfect plan and we are all a part of it... regardless of how we want it to be.
Take of this what you will, but if it's a new concept to you, I encourage you to give it a try.

Port Townsend

Sunday was such a beautiful day. It was a little chilly, but by the time we got up to Port Townsend, the sky was clear, and the sun was bright. We decided to go up to Fort Worden, which is a WWII military site. They have camp grounds there, if you're into camping, but we were just there for the day. There is a concrete base built right into the side of the hill. It was a little scary taking the kids through the fort because there are a lot of places where it would be easy for them to fall 10+ feet onto the concrete below, so I suggest leashes for your toddlers (hey, I was totally against it too, until Matt became mobile. I'm sure that "leash" has saved his life a least a couple of times.) We really didn't do too much up there besides walk up the beach and explore the fort, but it was such a nice day. None of the kids could run very fast on the sand, which made it much easier to let them run free. There was a ton of driftwood that they could climb over, rocks to throw in the water, and a few crab claws to take home as souvenirs. It has been such a long time since we've been able to have a family outing that was as stress-free as this. I totally recommend this trip if you're looking for an inexpensive way to spend the day with your family.

Nate's First Day

(picture will be coming once my computer stops being stupid)

Nathan never wants me to pick out his clothes. I knew he was nervous this morning because he asked for my help. We spent time doing his hair, making sure his teeth were "super shiny", and I made his lunch, which I cut the crust off of his sandwich. I never do that, and usually tell him to eat around it, but today was a special day. I even put a mini kit-kat bar in his sandwich container so he could have a little surprise if the day wasn't going so well (hopefully, he won't expect this all the time). We were way early getting ready, so we sat around, me more nervous than him, I imagine. Nathan's bus stop is at the top of our street. It's a little too far for him to walk by himself, so I opted to pile the kids in the car to drive him up, especially since it was raining. One of the boys at the bus stop was actually in his class, which I thought was great. He still seemed nervous until the bus came. As soon as he saw it, he couldn't get away from me fast enough!

The day itself was a little weird, and way too quiet. I am used to having to pick the kids up at 11:45, and his bus wouldn't return until 3:45. Drew did enjoy having the Wii to himself today, though. At 3:30 I loaded the kids into the car after much internal debate of whether or not we should just walk. I decided on the car, because I didn't need to be chasing Matt in and out of the street. We parked for what seemed like forever. Alex started getting fussy, so I got him out of his seat and held him while standing outside. He was way overdue for a nap, and not too happy. We finally saw the bus coming, so Alex and I started walking to where the bus would let the kids off. There are a lot of kids at our stop, so I waited patiently. And waited. And then the bus driver shut the door, folded in the side 'STOP' sign and started to drive off. Holy crap!!! Another man and I were trying to get her attention, me flailing one arm and half flailing the one holding Alex, and he was yelling. She drove away.

I ran back to the car, strapped Alex back in, and by this time the bus was gone. Luckily I had researched the bus rout out of curiosity earlier in the day. "Well guys, we're going to have to go find Nate." I said to the boys, who could have cared less and were deeply into Surfs Up. I had to wait for all of the kids who were walking home to get out of the way so I could try to get ahead of the bus, and see what was going on. I found another stop and asked a mother there if she was waiting for bus **. She was. When it stopped I ran to the door, in the way of all the parents with their cameras pointed waiting to capture this momentous occasion. "My son... was supposed to get off... at 72nd." The driver looked at me, horrified. "What's his name?" she asked. "Nathaniel" I said, still a little out of breath from the major heart attack I just endured. She called his name over the speaker, and there he was.

As we walked back to the car, I asked, "where's your shirt?"

"Oh! I left it on the bus."

Other than this, he had a pretty uneventful and normal day at school. His best friend is in his class, and the teacher seems great. It's going to be an interesting year, but I would expect no less.