Sesame Street Bust

Yesterday we went to see Sesame Street Live up in Everett. I bought the tickets about 6 weeks ago, and because we got them early, had awesome seats. We went last year and the boys had a blast. Even though we had to leave early because they started to get restless towards the end. We really wanted to do it again. What should have been another fun-filled easy going day out turned into a crazy (as usual) event.

We left the house barely on time to catch the 9:25 ferry in Kingston over to Edmunds. It would have given us just enough time with the half-hour ferry and 20 minute drive up to Everett to get there for 10:30, when the show started. Unfortunately I didn't notice the day before I had no gas, so we had to stop and fill up. Then on Bond road, we got stuck behind a s-l-o-w vehicle. We made it to the ferry terminal just in time, to discover they had overbooked the ferry and we would have to take the next one at 10:05. We turned around to leave but after discussing our options, we really didn't have any. There was no way we would be able to drive around in time, or catch any other ferry that would get us there. We pulled back into the terminal and decided it would be better to miss the first 20 minutes than the whole thing. The ferry got over to Edmunds at 10:25 which was earlier than expected and I was so happy. We planned on Joe dropping me and the kids off at the door so we could rush in, and we were most likely going to see the majority of the show. After following the street signs to the highway instead of our directions, we finally made it to the highway, and then our exit. Almost there. 10:45. Our exit was blocked off for construction. Damn. We got off at the other part of the exit, but got totally lost. We tried the navigation, and it actually worked. (it's really hit or miss) We followed it, had one more turn and... damn it! The road was blocked for construction! We back tracked changing our course and at 11:21 found the entrance. Joe pulled up, I got out to get the boys out, and Drew was sleeping. Joe said he'd bring him in, and I took Nate. When we pulled up, there we some people leaving and there were a ton of people in the lobby. Nate and I raced up to the door. With 5 minutes left of intermission, we found our seats and waited for Joe and Drew. 20 minutes later, the show was over, and Joe and Drew spent it in the back cause they couldn't get to our seats. (That we paid top dollar for so the kids could actually see this year) The boys both really enjoyed it, but I felt like a total failure. This day was supposed to be for them, and it seemed like everything in our path was keeping us from getting there. I couldn't help but think the Tao was at work. How else could so many obstacles pop up in our morning? I'm not sure why we weren't supposed to be there, and probably never will. I still feel horrible that their day was a total bust, but I know there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I say total bust, but we did go out to lunch at Red Robin, and then visited the Alderwood Mall for the first time. (Really great mall by the way) The boys love malls, so they had fun. I got some Capri's and tanks cause I am no longer a small (thanks to the belly) and Joe got a helicopter for him and the boys. We were supposed to go to a BBQ in Port Townsend at 5, but it took us 3 hours to get there. We were 15 miles out from the house and called to say we were running a little late, and were told it had been canceled. She told us to come up anyway, and we could hang out and grill and all that. We did, and had a good time. Nate and Drew made a new friend. We finally ended our day at 9:30. Even though we spent countless hours in the car, the boys were really good. We didn't have any major melt downs or tantrums so it went better than it could have with them.

Today, Nate is cranky as hell, and our neighbors had me up at 3am again. I'm really getting sick of it, and I think I'm going to go over there today and have a chat with them. I'm all for having fun, but don't be inconsiderate in the meantime. We will be spending the day at home today, resting.

So Over

I finally quit my job, after what I felt was the final straw. I just couldn't do it anymore. I will miss some of my coworkers, but it was time, and I really hope they find something better, soon. There's a lot better out there. I havn't been looking for a new company just yet, though. I've decided with the support of my husband, to stay home for a while, be a mom, and get back to things I used to enjoy but have lost in the daily grind of our crazy life. I used to love writing, photography, cooking, playing piano, violin and guitar, and scrapbooking. I still do enjoy them, but havn't allowed myself the time to do any of it (except for cooking which is kind of a necessity). As women, before we have kids we're pretty good at taking care of ourselves. Getting our hair done, planing lots of 'girls nights' etc. But life after babies and marraige is all about sacrifice and more sacrifice, and we lose what makes us individuals instead of caretakers. Somewhere in the past almost 4 years, I have totally forgotten what makes me, me. After working a high stress, thankless, frustrating, constantly on-call job for the past 3 years, it's time for me. Even in my job I was sacrificing loads of personal and family time because I worked when I had to, not when I wanted to. This year I want to really examine my passions so I may pursue them, and spend a lifetime enjoying them. Of course, my family is number 1 and always will be until I die, but it's time I put me in second place. A month ago I would have been heartbroken to quit. I really thought my career helped define who I was outside the home. As much as I enjoyed the thrill of Real Estate and the success I experienced, I don't think I was really happy doing it. I may go back to it in the future, but at least I will know how to pace myself and not take those late-night phone calls and sunday morning appointments. Hopefull by then, I'll have gotten back to me.

Happy Mother's Day! (and a note on sleep deprevation)

Happy Mother's Day (late) to all the mommies! I hope everyone felt appreciated. I awoke to Drew giving me 2 cards. One from Joe, and one from the boys. Nate was still sleeping next to me, and was not as happy as I was about Drew's 'rise and shine' attitude. Drew then said, "happy birthday" and ran back downstairs. I decided to get up then, cause I could smell coffee and figured Joe would be making breakfast. I came down to blueberry pancakes and ham. (Joe makes the best blueberry pancakes from scratch) Drew's the only one who won't eat them, and I swear because they have some trace of an actual fruit in them. Nathan will chose melon over cake any day, but not the bug. Nate had made me a bookmark (?) at school that was decorated in flowers and gave it to me after breakfast. One of the teachers had written, 'to Mommy, love Nathan' on the back which he traced very well. I am more impressed everyday with his academic progress. His school is fantastic! At the beginning of the year he had trouble controlling his pencil at all, and now you can actually read what he is writing. A little later that day, Nate and Joe made me some mother's day cookies shaped into ducks, bats, and gingerbread men. They were the only cookie cutters we could find even though we have about 200. They decorated them with sprinkles and pink frosting. If Nathan sees anything pink he says "you should get this mommy", cause he knows it's my favorite color. We had Chinese for dinner, which I had to bring back to the restaurant in my pajamas cause they got the order wrong, but it was delicious after I got the right thing! I usually have to fight for Chinese cause I could eat it for every meal, while the rest of my family doesn't exactly share my feelings. It was a nice relaxing day.

Today, I had an emotional breakdown at 6:30 am. I'm going to chock it up to the hormones, but it was definitely a long time coming. Every morning Riley is up at 4:30 wanting to go outside. If it's a regular work day, Joe usually lets him out before he leaves, but I still wake up to his early morning barking. I expect that. It's not like we've ever owned a puppy before, and I'm actually happy he stays in his kennel for that long without complaining. Now this little early morning hiccup wouldn't be so bad if we didn't live in GD Washington, where the sun rises at 5am. I swear to god we live in a bird sanctuary with the chorus of tweeting that echos. Once you're woken in the morning, it's hard to fall back asleep. Drew, for whatever reason, has been waking up earlier and earlier every day for the past 3 weeks. He used to sleep in so much I would worry about him, but now he is full of vinegar at the crack of dawn. When Nathan wakes up early, he'll crawl in bed with me and either fall back asleep, or I can turn on the TV and he'll lay there quietly until it's a decent hour. Not Drew. When he's up, he's up, and there is no quieting that child. He'll pull the covers off, honk your nose, play with the cat, the blankets, pull on your hand, etc. He's relentless. Though he's relentless with everything. This morning he came in at 5:15. Joe is home cause he's on a new schedule, thank god. Around 6, Joe got up with him, but the damage had been done. There was no way I was going back to sleep now. I laid there trying my best to relax, but decided at 6:30 it wasn't worth it. I came downstairs, obviously flustered. Joe said, "what's wrong?" and I lost it. Crying, and complaining like one of my toddlers. I hate having moments like that. I think every mom has, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I think lately I have had a difficult time adjusting to stay-at-home mom, and that's also taking a toll on me. I try to cram so much in one day but after no sleep and destroyed hips, I never get it all done. I go to bed every night feeling unaccomplished and worn down. I used to be able to fit so much in one day and have so much energy but it's just gone. I have the motivation, but I physically can't push myself into doing what I feel needs to be done. Worst of all, I know it's only going to get harder when the baby arrives, so what am I supposed to do then? I've never expected things to be easy, but I wish they weren't this hard. This morning I am drained and it's only 10am.

Baby Pictures

Yesterday, Cinco de Mayo, we went to Bellevue to have a 4D ultrasound done. We had done one with Drew as well, but he was ornery as usual and pretty uncooperative. This time, I had a white mocha before we got there so this baby was movin' and shakin'! (He REALLY reacts to caffeine, sugar, etc.) He is breech, which is yet another bad situation for a home birth (it just keeps getting better), but we've got enough time for him to turn. Hopefully he does. He is going to be a big boy. In a few pictures, you can see he has a double chin (which is cute on babies, not me) and he has the same lips that Nate, Drew and Joe have. In some pics he looks a lot like Drew, but in others, he looks just like Nate in some of his newborn photos. He's got a lot of hair, but that's not surprising. And yes, HE. There were doubts among some about his gender because I have all the wives tales of carrying a girl. But he showed himself to us quite proudly, and there is no doubt. As much as I wanted a girl, I was relieved. We've already got the room, (which is Dinosaurs) clothes, and I've identified with this baby as a boy. It would be hard to think of him as anything but a 'he'. With all that laid to rest, he is gorgeous, and I really can't wait to meet him. He opened his eyes and pushed out on my belly whenever he heard Nate and Drew talk, and smiled when Joe yelled at Nate to not touch something. This was really such a great experience for us. Now I can picture him, and I've gotten a great feel for his personality. He'll be sweet and mellow, but feisty like his brothers. In moments like this I feel like I could mother 20 kids. There really is nothing better out there. (Don't worry, I don't actually plan on having 20 kids)