Our New Addition

No, we didn't have the baby. (though there is a part of me that would wish for it if he could be healthy enough!) On Saturday we decided to get a new puppy! We found one on Craigslist, and after seeing him, decided 'why not?' At the house where he was (which turned out to be an amature breeder, and we didn't know that at the time) he was the calmest, most easy going puppy I had ever seen! He really reminded me of 'yellow dog' from the movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase. And he looks just like him too! He is a yellow lab, and is probably going to be a big boy. The mom was small, but the dad was pretty big. On the plus side he is more blond than gold, and the mom was blond, so I'm hoping he actually does take after his mother's physical attributes. He is fitting in nicely and since we've gotten him home, his real character has shone brightly. He is as playful and energetic as you would expect a new puppy to be. He chews everything. We're working on that, and Nate is taking on the role of dog trainer pretty well. Every time he sees Riley with something he shouldn't have, he takes it from him and gives him his bone instead. The first night we had him he didn't do well in the kennel at all, but last night he did great. He made it through the night until Joe went to work at 5:30. Chopper is the only one who's having trouble adjusting. Every time Joe tries to play with Riley, Chopper will get in between him and Joe. I think once the threat is gone, he'll be better. Though Chopper is kind of a grump anyway.

For a pregnancy update: I had to have blood work done last Tuesday (and anyone who knows me knows that is not an easy thing for me to do) and Saturday morning my midwife called and said it came back and I am "severely anemic". Damn. If it's not one thing, it's another. She said with my history of hemorrhage combined with the severe anemia, if I don't get it up to a somewhat normal level, she'll have to refer me out to an OB and will no longer be able to care for me. I feel like this baby is destined to be born in a hospital. There have been so many things this time that have gone wrong or have been a possible serious/life threatening situation, it's almost getting old. I really have tried to take care of myself this time and it seems all efforts have failed. I have to get retested in 6 weeks, so I should know by then what the final outcome is going to be. For now, I'll just load up of the iron supplements, and hope for the best.

I would really like to post some new pics, but my camera charger is MIA. I am almost ready to buy a new one. It got lost somewhere in the move, and the battery ran out weeks ago. I'm sure it's in plain view in some box we threw together last minute, but it's just finding that box. I'll post some pics if I find it!

Happy Birthday to Joe!

Saturday, April 5th, was Joe's birthday. Weeks ago we had tentatively planned on having a birthday/move-in party. Weeks ago, we didn't know we were still going to be living out of boxes. So (mainly I) decided to call it off. We are hoping to have one in a few weeks or so. Really, I'll be happy if we have any sort of gathering before the baby's born. I did feel bad for having to cancel the tentative party, so I had planned on making the day extra special for Joe's big 2-5. Unfortunately as usual, it didn't go as planned.

At 3:00 in the morning, I woke up to Drew fussing. It's a highly unusual event since he's only slept in our bed maybe 2 times in his life, and rarely wakes up during the night. I figured he might have had a bad dream, so I went into his room, and there he was sitting up half asleep. I picked him up, searched for 'puppies blanky' and brought him into our bed. He cuddled right in, and I should have known then something was wrong. Again, he's not much of a cuddler unless there's a TV on. He finally settled into a position, and Lila started playing with his toes. I got her off the bed, and he took another 5 minutes of tossing around before he settle again. I thought he was going to fall asleep for sure this time. Then he starts coughing. So I sat him up, he coughed again, then BAM! Vomit all over my side of the bed. Fantastic. I tried to move him to the bathroom, but he emptied his stomach before we got there. I changed his clothes and mine, and went downstairs for the children's TUMS. He was wide awake at this point, so I brought him downstairs with me so we could watch some NOGGIN and calm down. After 15 minutes of that, he turned to TV off and said, "go bed". I brought him to his bed this time and laid down with him cause my side of the bed was destroyed, and I thought he had fallen asleep. Nope, BAM! Vomit again. I changed him, and brought him into our bed next to Joe so I could change again, and the geyser returned. Joe sat up and looked at the clock reading '4:45' and said, "well, guess we should just put on the coffee." I laughed and said, "happy birthday, honey!"

Needless to say the rest of the day went horribly because both of us were so tired, and we spent the majority of the day cleaning up vomit. We kept falling asleep, Drew kept puking, and Nate was getting pretty irritated that no one could play with him. He had a horrible attitude the entire weekend. Somehow I did manage to take Nate to the mall to get Joe's birthday gift, and we did make a cake, but I must've been half asleep. It's a wonder it turned out decent. We called it an early night.

I do feel horrible for the way the day went. I had planned on getting up early, (not that early), making a big breakfast, taking Nate to the mall, sending Joe to the store for whatever so we could make his cake and decorate the house, and then making a big birthday dinner. Saturday was such a reminder of how far days can stray from their plans. Even with the best intentions, life as a parent is totally unpredictable. We did try to make it somewhat special and show Joe he is loved.

Tongue Piercings and Minivans

This morning I woke with a dry mouth, and usually do. I end up with sores because of my tongue ring. Yeah, not a pretty thought, I know. But I ended up starting the day thinking, "why do I still have this thing?" I got it five years ago when I worked in a tattoo/piercing place. We were bored and looking for entertainment. It wasn't something I longed to do, nor was I 'trying to make a statement' when I had it done. I just felt like it. Now after 5 years of marriage, 2.5 kids and the start of a career, it just doesn't seem to fit. I had the same feeling when I went through my pre-prego clothes for the first time after losing all that baby weight. Even though I could still physically fit into them, they didn't 'fit' who I had become after giving birth and becoming a mother. Who was I trying to impress back then, anyway? As I no longer have the desire to bare extreme cleavage or allow my butt to hang out of my shorts, I really no longer have the desire to keep a tongue ring.

For months I fought Joe on purchasing a minivan. I told him I wasn't ready to completely give up my youth. "So what I have 2 kids, I'm only 22!" We finally decided on the Rendezvous, a crossover. 2 months after that, we found out about baby #3. Damnit. While our vehicle is (almost) big enough to comfortably fit 5, the minivan would have been a much better fit. What was/am I trying to hold on to? I am by all rights a full grown adult, with a mortgage, car payments, credit cards, utilities, and groceries. I have been since I was 18. (Less the mortgage, that didn't come till 20.) Why is it so hard for me to admit and accept that I am fully grown? I've never denied or forgotten my responsibilities as a mom and wife, and I've always welcomed them with open arms. But as I let go of the tongue piercing I feel like I am going through an early midlife crisis. I'll be 24 in October and it's terrifying. (I know some of you are laughing) But most people at 24 are just graduating college, and looking towards a career. I almost feel as though I've already hit the climax of my life. The plan is always to go to school, start a career, get married, buy a house in the suburbs and then have kids. Nobody plans, talks about or looks forward to what happens after that. Cool, I'll be 40 when my boys are out of high school. But who looks forward to their 40's? I'm definitely not complaining about my life because I wouldn't change a thing. I am proud of what Joe and I have accomplished, and of the lives we've created. I really enjoy my life. I just don't understand why it is and has been so hard for me to accept my place at this moment. I know it's just a minivan and a tongue ring, but they symbolize so much more than that. I am giving up the last bit of who I was before the kids came. Now I am struggling to find who I am at this point in my life. I'm trying to find hobbies to define me as more than a mom. Unfortunately, hobbies take time, and I just don't have it. I'd love to take guitar lessons, learn to sew, ballroom dance, snowboard, become fluent in a few languages, and take up photography. At least with photography, I've been taking pictures of my kids for years. Now I just have to get good at it. I've got a career, but I am losing my passion for it more and more everyday. I don't feel it's helping me grow as a person, since most of the business is based on greed. Everybody wants more, and you're never good enough. I feel caught in a limbo with no direction and plan. I have no idea who I am and that, like good old 24, is terrifying.

The First!

A friend of mine started a blog and it inspired me to do the same. We too have family all over the country and it is hard to make daily phone calls, or even weekly phone calls. Our kids are growing up, and we want our friends and family to be able to share in the day to day joys we experience. Starting a blog also gives me the chace to journal, and give the world a front row seat to what actually goes on in my head (if you dare). It is a great privilage to be able to speak freely, and we should all take advantage of it. So please enjoy the rants, stories, photos, and everyday moments we experience, as we do.